Memorial Weekend To Remember

Ok so here is the breakdown:

We have a week and a half to find a new place otherwise we are gonna be homeless (which God would never allow happen).

We have searched for houses or apartments from Scottsdale to Buckeye and everything we have found, God has shut the doors in his perfect way. Ways ranging from too many people living in a 2 bedroom apartment (?what?) to the the one that recently happen. Found a good place, nice this and that AND... next day find out there is 1700 dollars worth of hidden move in fees.

One by one doors have closed. All the while the deadline is getting closer and closer. Than we found a house in buckeye. Perfect rent, good neighborhood, no hidden fees, one cheap set cost to move in and the place is ours for the same amount monthly.

We prayed. Talked with our great pastor. And pending Gods approval, we may be in a home in a week and a half.

I whole heartily believe that that's not all. The Bible talks about God being able to do above what we can ask or think. About His children drinkin from wells we didn't dig. Blessings beyond what we can contain. And even if his answer is no to this house, I whole heartily believe that by June 1, 2011 the Gonzales family will receive blessings of finances, housing, transportation, healing and whatever else God adds to this sweet blessing.

I pray with all my heart that He alone receives glory and honor and praise for the next week and a half. That its all used to build His kingdom. And that whatever trials and even blessings are still to come, great or small, it doesn't skew my vision and longing for heaven and to be with Him. That my prayer at the end of the day will still be. "Take this whole world but give me Jesus."

Ain't nothing like living for God and the rush of living by faith, ain't nothing better and more exciting.

Show them Father how great You are.

Buckle up. Here we go.

2 Corinthians 5:7

Trust In Him. Through the Blessings and Trials.

From the onset of today, my prayer was that if God would walk beside me regardless if today contain a great blessing or the trial of my life, I would press on and trust him. As I walked away from the church house and begin to contemplate that prayer, I couldn't help but think that today was gonna be a day of a test. A day that meant i would have to put my head down and push a little harder. A day I would have to place a deep trust in god. 

Sure enough. 

See god don't just give faith to us. Trials give us patience and than experience and than we receive hope or faith. The reason being because god truly does have a great plan for us and blessings so great. But before he can give us all these things, he must first make sure we can handle it. He will NOT put us through more than we can handle and that includes blessings. So he must mold and purge us and make us ready for that blessing. 

I long for a complete family. Not just for my sake. But for my lonely mom. My sister who is growing up without a father or complete family. I long for someone who will go the extra mile for me as I do daily for others. And I don't mind it. It's who I am. I stopped trying to hang up my cape cause it's apart of me. But I feel like I go and go and go and put my all into it and I find they have yet to put anything into the same thing. I have prayers and longings and desires that are so basic to those who are fortunate to have them and yet I am still without. Rocking to and fro on a crumbling boat surrounded by raging sea. 

But when Jesus says we are going to the other side, and when Jesus is on your boat, it don't matter if your holding on to the last piece of board of that ship, you will make it to that other side. 

In the midst of this all god. All the tears and pain and hurt that build up more and more inside, God, one thing will remain. 

I will trust in you. 

Psalms 27:1

Next Step

Easily, anger and bitterness could flare within when I realized that I have been walking down the exact same road leading no where. I can worry, I can question God's will, wonder through sleepless nights and heartache days, and walk around secluding myself from the world but where would that leave me. Still on the outside looking in. I walk away not with anger but with excitement knowing that the next step in Gods plan is more perfect than I could ever imagine. It hurts but only to an extent. Not that it didn't mean much. It meant a lot. More than I wish to admit, but still I see a blessing lying in the works. This was a stepping stone to something greater. Something I may not understand until that time comes and I look back and realize that I finally found the right road to journey on. I'll look back and realize that I walked through consecutive open doors. Doors that had been unlocked the entire time. I was just trying to open a door that was shut. Beyond today lies a tomorrow of promises obtained, prayers answered, dreams come true. I will walk through a new door. Closing the recent one with one last sigh. I'll turn around. Breathe in. Breathe out. Crooked grin. Move on

Ain't nothing like walking in steps ordered by the Lord.

Psalms 37:23