From the onset of today, my prayer was that if God would walk beside me regardless if today contain a great blessing or the trial of my life, I would press on and trust him. As I walked away from the church house and begin to contemplate that prayer, I couldn't help but think that today was gonna be a day of a test. A day that meant i would have to put my head down and push a little harder. A day I would have to place a deep trust in god.
Sure enough.
See god don't just give faith to us. Trials give us patience and than experience and than we receive hope or faith. The reason being because god truly does have a great plan for us and blessings so great. But before he can give us all these things, he must first make sure we can handle it. He will NOT put us through more than we can handle and that includes blessings. So he must mold and purge us and make us ready for that blessing.
I long for a complete family. Not just for my sake. But for my lonely mom. My sister who is growing up without a father or complete family. I long for someone who will go the extra mile for me as I do daily for others. And I don't mind it. It's who I am. I stopped trying to hang up my cape cause it's apart of me. But I feel like I go and go and go and put my all into it and I find they have yet to put anything into the same thing. I have prayers and longings and desires that are so basic to those who are fortunate to have them and yet I am still without. Rocking to and fro on a crumbling boat surrounded by raging sea.
But when Jesus says we are going to the other side, and when Jesus is on your boat, it don't matter if your holding on to the last piece of board of that ship, you will make it to that other side.
In the midst of this all god. All the tears and pain and hurt that build up more and more inside, God, one thing will remain.
I will trust in you.
Psalms 27:1
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